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March 30, 2006

E-Harmony Not

A new friend of mine, a woman I admire and hope to be like when I’m her age, encouraged me to give E-harmony another try. Most anyone who watches tv is probably familiar with E-harmony because of the ads running regularly on tv. It’s very expensive in comparison to other internet dating sites and it touts itself as being more successful because one takes a personality “test” and one is matched accordingly.

(I’ve been watching HBO’s new series Big Love recently and have to say that the founder of E-Harmony reminds me of someone who would feel very comfortable in LDS dominated Utah).

So I got back on e-harmony and put myself back in the system so I could be “matched.” I should add that when I tried the service a couple of years ago (you know that your singleness is definitely an issue when your mother calls up you up an encourages you to try an internet dating site she heard about on tv) I was matched with a bunch of guys who worked for the defense department (read: Pentagon) and were all about supporting the American way of freedom and liberty (for anyone white and American-born).

At the time I thought, oh well, that’s fifty dollars down the drain-but certainly good for a few laughs when I’m feeling amused about the concept of spending money on matches with conservative military men.

So, that brings me to this past weekend when I let E-harmony match me again. And this is what I got:

One man whose hero is: Donald Rumsfield

One man who: wants a woman who keeps her body in good running condition (that’s either like a car or a euphemism for ‘those with cellulite need not apply’)

One man who revealed something only his closest friends know which is: how hard it was for him to buy his condo.

Potential for harmony?

Not.

Posted by maeve921 at 3:14 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

March 27, 2006

blublublubidyblub

Today I had a couple of cancellations so I drove up to a strip mall in the suburbs to run a bunch of important (to me at least) errands. I was very pleased that I had a shopping list for a change and had my plan of attack. One thing I learned today about running errands on Monday morning is that it’s like the doors of the aslyum for the odd are flung open and the inhabitants are allowed to run amock in places that would not be safe during times when the so-called normal people are out shopping (i.e., the weekends).

So in one store I was stuck in line behind a woman who seemed to have some personal relationship with the salesclerk and they were bemoaning the state of employment. But the best encounter was in a housewares store where a woman at the checkout counter started yelling at the manager that it wasn’t ok to treat people a certain way. “We’re human beings you know!” she shouted and then turned to the young boy with her and said, “blublublubidyblub.” At first I thought she was being silly with the young child-but then she kept doing it. And then I started thinking, hmmm, tourette’s disorder? And then it really started to irritate me.

And in fact, I wanted to ask her what the hell her problem was and for the love of god would she please stop making that noise “blublublubidyblub.” In fact, it was just downright creepy. She stood outside the store and kept saying, “It’s no way to treat a person, blublublubidyblub.” She must have emitted that noise about ten times. The only good part was that the child with her seemed unperturbed by the blublublubidyblub-ing.

Of course, this is how a high tolerance for craziness is indoctrinated in the young and twenty-five years later, that kid will be looking for a quick shopping fix on a sunny Monday morning only to find himself a prisoner of a busman’s holiday.

Posted by maeve921 at 11:42 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack